I recently saw something online and it was condemning, in a way, the preachers who say that there should be no divorce whatsoever. He argued that these people have no Biblical basis on which they can teach ‘no divorce’ under any circumstance.
This is an issue that needs to be approached carefully. When this issue of divorce was raised with Jesus he gave them a very simple answer. He said ‘in the beginning it was not so.’ He also made it clear to them that Moses asked them to issue a divorce letter to their spouses because of the hardness of their hearts. Mathew 19:8.
Having set that as a foundation, let me clear the air around no divorce under any circumstance. I do not preach divorce and people should not do it because Jesus did not encourage it. However, there are people who are in serious abusive relationships. In this case I am talking about people being battered and they may eventually lose their lives if they continue in such relationships. It is obviously not wise to remain in a man’s house and become the punching bag when it happens repeatedly and the man is not showing any sign of remorse or willingness to change.
For issues to be resolved you have to stay alive and one of the ways to stay alive is to run for your dear life. You can then begin to talk about how to resolve your issues from a distance. If the issue is resolved that will be great but if there is no guarantee that the abuser in the relationship, either the man or woman, will change then there may be no point returning to that home.
However, there are so many couples who do not explore all options at their disposal to resolve their marital conflicts. They are simply waiting for the next available opportunity to start a fight and then talk about divorce. Sometimes they raise the issue of divorce on the most trivial things. You then begin to wonder why the issue should be that magnified when it can be resolved in a simple way.
I dare say that there are people who are already tired of their relationships so they are just looking for a way out. Sometimes some of them are already cheating on their spouses so they are looking for a legal ground to stand on and continue the cheating or formalize the relationship with the concubine.
If you agreed to marry someone and you made vows that it will be for better for worse, both of you should explore all avenues humanly possible while seeking heavenly intervention to make the marriage work. Until you have done this you cannot be talking about going your separate ways.
This issue of getting into marriage hurriedly and trying to get out hurriedly is also one of the reasons we say marriage is not for boys and girls. When boys and girls get involved it breaks them and they realize they’ve gotten into something they were never mentally prepared for. Note the key for boys and girls is mental preparation. People may look old and big enough to marry but without the mental preparation, they are signing up for frustration.
I don’t think you should divorce and I am very careful in also saying that it should be a last resort but it is very important that you ensure your life is not in danger if you will continue in a relationship.
Remember that it takes two to tango. You and your spouse have a responsibility to make things work and you should keep at it until it works.
Fola Daniel Adelesi
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