If you have ever failed before you should have learnt that failing is not a problem. However, it can become a problem if you don’t respond to it the right way. One of the many wrong ways people respond to failure is to always make it look like if something else had happened or had not happened they would not have failed. They simply go on to make excuses for failure and never learn their vital lessons needed for success.
Many say they have failed because of the family they were born into. Others think that they are not succeeding just because of the country they were born into. There are those who think they will be doing well in life now if only they went to better schools and got great jobs when they got out of school. Unconsciously, they excuse their present failure by making reference to something they could have had or never got close to having.
Men and women who have failed are living their lives based on what they could have had or what could have happened. Those who are succeeding or are going to succeed are spending time developing what they can have and make out of their situation.
I can easily understand why they make excuses for failure even though that does not make it right. I have failed before in school. I know how it feels to see that your colleagues have left you behind. Now you can no longer seat with your mates but you are compelled to seat with those who used to be your juniors. It can be humiliating. Failure tries to take your ego. And for many people, they have nothing left once you take their ego.
You must learn to outgrow that phase. If you don’t, you will find out that you keep failing and you keep making excuses for why you failed. You start struggling to succeed but it becomes harder to succeed. Why is that? It is because you are still in denial. You are not accepting that it could be something you did wrong that has caused the failure.
While I understand how people tend to treat us when we have failed at something, we still must learn that we don’t really owe people explanations on why we failed. But in the future, we may have some explanations to offer our younger generation on why we did not succeed like those others who succeeded. I don’t want to be explaining why I failed to my younger generation. I look forward to sitting with them and mentoring them on the pathways to success.
If you have failed it is not the end of the world. Take it in. Think about it for a while. In thinking about it, don’t let your focus be the failure. Focus on what got you into failure and see what you could have done differently. You definitely have the capacity to succeed so as you think about it, you are trying to identify that capacity that you have to succeed.
Fola Daniel Adelesi
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