Fail safe marriages too? | © Fola Daniel Adelesi

Many years before now the marriage institution was a lot better than what it is right now. When you look out there today, it is really struggling and many more people are rushing in and as well rushing out without thinking twice. I can even say that we now have fail safe marriages and relationships.

Why is it a fail-safe marriage? Well, a lot of people now think that they can get into the marriage and try to enjoy it but if it is not what they bargained for, they might be able to jet out. That’s why the divorce rate is getting higher by the day.

In some other places, so many people are contracting marriages not for the reason of love or being soul mates to each other but for some financial benefits or a few other things. We see people marry someone who is really old with the intention that he will soon die and they can make away with what he has. We also see people marry some others just to swindle them. The biggest of them is marrying someone from a particular country so that you can get the valid papers of that country and be allowed to stay.

To think that you can walk in and out of marriage is to be planning or working towards fail-safe marriages. We can’t and we are not, especially those of us who are children of God and are ready to obey the word of God, permitted to create or contract a marriage that is by default a fail-safe marriage.

Once you are in you are in and that is why you have to think twice before getting in. you have to stick together and make it work when you are in. Marriage is a sacred thing and it is very important to God. We know from the Bible that when God created man, he went ahead to create the woman almost immediately and that made marriage the oldest institution that was also created by God. Incidentally, although I think it was also deliberate, the first miracle of Jesus was performed at a wedding!

So if it obvious that God has a hand in marriage then we cannot run it the way we want while trying to justify our moral failures with the powers of the law. If you are having issues you are to deal with it and not run from it. If you run from it in the first marriage you just might be hitting it in the second. So if you hit it in the second and third do you keep going?

When are you even going to admit that the problem is not the marriage or that the problem is not your spouse but that the problem is you? If you don’t admit what your weaknesses are and be willing to get help so as to be stronger, you will keep holding on to something that does not really fix your problem.

I know there can be reasons for you to misunderstand each other. You may disagree over some really important things and you are supposed to move forward. You both should compromise and make sure that you let your egos take a sit while you work out the interest of the relationship. Put your selfish ambitions aside and pursue the goals that will keep you married.

If you have ever thought that you can walk into a marriage and walk out when you like, think twice. The creator of the institution did not create a fail-safe marriage. Adam and Eve never got a divorce! Cain and whoever he got married to never got a divorce. Isaac and Rebecca; Esau and his wives, Jacob, Leah and Rebecca; Abraham and Sarah; Moses and others never got a divorce.

Isn’t that why Jesus said, ‘In the beginning it was not so!’ In the beginning the plan was not to walk in and walk out. The plan was to work it out until it works so work out yours until it works! 


Fola Daniel Adelesi
President/CEO,
Edible Pen.

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4 thoughts on “Fail safe marriages too? | © Fola Daniel Adelesi

  1. I agree with what you said here. But what if whatever you try does not work? What even if you have altered yourself just because you do not want to do anything that your spouse dislike. And after all that your dignity in just going down and down. What if you are just married on papers? What if you just do not exist for your spouse even if you have killed your ego and keep killing it whenever it wanted to breathe? What if you have just become a ‘mere obligation’ for your spouse? What if you two are just tolerating each other? What if you are no important than a small cockroach? What if you have died inside? What if you want to breathe? And more importantly what if after all this you still love the person and does not want to leave till death hold you apart?
    Sorry, for such a long comment. I liked what you wrote here. But it triggers certain points I want to avoid for my own mental peace sake.

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