It’s okay for you to have a great dream and be working really hard at fulfilling that dream through all the activities of your life. However, you need to ask if you have any shared dream with the person that you have married or are about to marry.
I think it is safe to say that it is not a must for you to have the same dream but it will be very helpful for your relationship when you have a shared dream with your spouse. Don’t always think that this dream is about you getting a dream of your own and expecting your spouse to join you and follow everything that you do. Your spouse needs to support you but it is easier if you both share the dream and not just one person pushing the dream with the hope that someday, the other person will understand and come on board.
We have seen that when couples have no shared dreams at all, they may be working in different directions. One is building a passion with one thing and the other’s passion is in something totally different. They are both drifting apart and traveling in different directions. While they may be struggling to come together, the different goals they are pursuing keeps driving them apart.
Have you ever noticed that the more you try to get close to your spouse the further your go apart? Rather than struggle with getting close I think you can work on having a shared dream. It’s not enough to live together raise kids together. I know you share the bills and all the responsibilities in the house but there is more to that which can keep your souls closely knitted.
From my observation, it is so obvious that those who have shared visions enjoy the following:
Pursuing a common goal – When you have a shared dream or a common vision, you will have to pursue a common goal and I think that it is a great thing for couples to pursue a common goal. It is even a platform to discover each other more and your love can be strengthened.
Stronger communication – To work and to achieve something together, you will always have to communicate more. You don’t only communicate as a couple, you also communicate as partners and that reveals to each one a new perspective. When you are off the common goal or shared dreams, the strong communication that has been built still helps both of you.
Better understanding – You can expect that when there is stronger communication there will be a better understanding. If you were always arguing over one thing or the other, some shared visions might reveal to you what you need to know and help you to understand each other better.
Previous results strengthens bonds – I know that when you do a business with someone and it succeeds, you will want a repeat business with that person. When the person succeeds with you then you will want to do more and succeed with that person. When you jointly achieve the first goal you will think about doing more. As you think about doing more, you have to pursue a common goal; then you get stronger communication and better understanding. At the end of the day you achieve results that push you to want to do more.
If, before now, you do not have a shared dream with your spouse, I think that it is something worth considering and you will be amazed at how it can help your relationship. If you once had a shared dream or common goal, how far have you gone with it and are you pushing through committedly?
Fola Daniel Adelesi
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