There are very little things in a relationship that we take for granted. When we do this continuously, the little things then become big issues in our relationships and we think it is something really big that has cause the problem. We have to be more observant and never let these little things take root.
One of those little things that eventually become big issues is the issue of equal willingness for sacrifice. What does this mean? It simply means that a couple must have shared willingness to sacrifice for the family in one way or the other.
When the couple have the shared or equal willingness to sacrifice for the family, there will never be a time when one person feels used or cheated and begin to react towards the other person with that feeling.
A clear case is when a man has been providing for the family all along. He does everything to make sure that the family is in order and has everything that it needs. He does not ask the wife what she does with her own money and barely asks the wife to contribute to the family bills. All of a sudden something happens and the husband is broke. He then expects the wife to stand up for him and support the family. In fact, the case that has made be bring this up was a situation where the husband is now saying, ‘borrow me this money till I am back on my feet again.’ The wife refuses to lend this money to the husband and still making it clear that it is his responsibility to take care of the house.
When a man sees this, after making series of sacrifices for the family, bringing home all the income and taking care of the family needs before taking care of himself, he will feel bad. The women also should not be made to sacrifice all the way in things that relate to the children and other home matters. When this continues for too long you will begin to create wrong impressions in the relationship for each other.
With wrong impressions already laid, some other problems will be attracted and you may not be able to stop the problem if it’s full blown.
My major message right now is that anyone who has agreed to go into a relationship with you or that you have agreed to be in a relationship with, especially marriage, must be willing to make equal sacrifices. I am deliberately using the word ‘willingness’ because I know that the man is the head of the family and should provide for the family. So the reason I use the word willingness is that the man should still know that this person I am making all these sacrifices for can also go the same length for me if we were to swap positions.
If at any time anyone in the relationship feels that he or she is making sacrifices that the other person will not be able to make then the relationship risks being broken. Even if you do not have the resources at the moment to prove that you are really willing to go the same length as the other person is going for you, you should prove it in those occasional moments when the opportunity presents itself.
Sometimes your partner is not even asking too much from you. He or she may not be saying you have to do exactly what I am doing for you back to me. They just want to know or be rest assured that the sacrifices they are making for you are really worth it.
Do you want an improved relationship? Then you should never allow the scale of sacrifices tilt to one end. Make that move today and save your relationship or marriage.
Fola Daniel Adelesi
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