Sometimes when you see marriages crashing or you see relationships breaking, they are results of love by force. I don’t think that it is everything you love that must be by you all the time and at your beck and call. Some people are also better of as friends than being lovers. Many of the people who claim to be in love today with some crisis saw many reasons to not get into the relationship but they convinced themselves that they are in love and will be able to make it through.
It may be hard for many to accept but let’s come to terms with the fact that love is not by force. If men are going to be honest with you they will tell you that it is not everyone they love they have proposed to. If some women will also be honest with you, they will make it known to you that it is not every man they love they have said yes to. In fact, how many people can you say yes to? So why will you love someone and not say yes to that person? One of the reasons is because love is not by force.
There are times we see that religion might be a big issue for us but we ignore it and go on until the religion begins to divide us further. If you love someone who does not share your religious views why not just let the person be rather than forcing the person to marry you and the reason you now become enemies is the religion you both said will not count?
In some other cases, there would have been the issue of age being a barrier to their love. When they meet and ‘fall in love’ they also say to themselves that age is nothing but numbers. Soon after they start a relationship and probably get married, they tell you the age is a big issue. Or you start hearing ‘she does not respect me because of the age issue.’ You knew this before you went into it and it should not be an issue for you guys.
Apart from religion, age, tribe or ethnicity, and nationality that may have been ignored and later become big deals, people also seem to neglect social status as it affects their relationship or professed love with other people.
The other important thing to note which is one of the major reasons I am writing this is about those trying to force themselves on other people in a relationship or marriage. The first thing you need to know is that there is a difference between trying to convince someone and forcing yourself on the person. So many do not know where to draw the line. You should not force people to be in a relationship with you. Either as a man or woman. There is no point deceiving or luring them to be with you and not other people.
There are some people who have something on the other person and for that, they compel that person to be in a relationship with them. It’s more like threatening the person to stay with you. You give them the impression that they will get into trouble or that you will use what you have against them if they don’t stay with you. This will not favour both parties on the long run.
Don’t get involved in any love by force. Walk away when you can and don’t wait till you are stuck. You have a right to say no and yes. In most cases, your ability to say no will keep you in your right senses and keep you safe. You will also need to say more ‘nos’ than yes!’
Always remember that love is not by force and if you do, you will not entangle yourself.
Fola Daniel Adelesi
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