Over the years there have been series of arguments on the issue of finances at home. Different people have come from different perspectives and raising seemingly genuine reasons one person should work and the other should not. Some of the arguments have hinged on the recent economic recession around the globe and it really sounds like the acceptable thing to just do is for both couple to work. In some other cases, arguments have also come up about the fact that if both couples are supposed to be working then there will be issues with raising the kids. I am lending my voice here and also stating how I think some of these issues can be resolved.
I would want to emphasize that I believe both couple must work or do business. I do not believe we should have stay at home dads or mums for any reason whatsoever. When two people come together to marry and they have to live together and do all things together for the rest of their lives, the financial burden should not be on one neck regardless of how rich the person is. There are times you also need to note that things may start on a good note for one party and somewhere along the line things may change. The business that has been bringing you a lot of money which made you to ask one partner not to work may have some challenges. If it is a job it is possible you lose the job and when the job is gone what do you do? I even think that it is not a wise decision at all to ask your partner not to work because you have a well paying job. You should remember that you are not the owner of the job and you can be asked to leave at any time even without 24 hour notice!
Regarding the consideration for the children that you are both raising, I think that’s a simple thing to deal with. You can ask your partner or you can both agree that one person takes up a flexible job. There are jobs you can take up such that you will still have a lot of time for your spouse and children. You will be able to get them ready for school and be there when they return to spend some good time with them. If it is also hard to come by that kind of job then you can consider doing a personal business. When at least one of the partners is doing a personal business where you control your time, it will be a lot easier for you to create time for the children.
Don’t be fooled by what you are earning today and because of that ask that one partner should not work. Think about a few other things. We all don’t expect bad things to happen to us but what if the rich partner who is bringing all the money that you depend on suddenly dies? Where do you start from? Will you now start thinking about selling the items you have in the house or will you now start looking for a job? When you start looking for a job at that time you need to remember that you will need some time to adjust and if you already have children it will be a lot hard to quickly adjust. If you have been working before something goes wrong, the adjustment that needs to be done will be minor. Even if the partner does not die, what if the partner loses his or her job or things go wrong with the business? Think again about all the things that can possibly go wrong. what if the very rich partner or the one bringing in all the money suddenly wakes up and is asking for a divorce or just suddenly disappears from the house?
I know that there are men out there who think they are very comfortable and for that, their wives have no reason to think about working. I think that is a bit selfish and you need to reconsider the issue going by all the things I have raised above. Even if the money she will be earning will not contribute anything to the family finances, you need to remember that you are not God. You are taking a risk of leaving the woman at a dead end when you decided she must not work because everything is going well for you now.
Work is honourable and it nice to have one comfortable partner who brings home all the money but again I say, ‘both partners should work or do business!’
Fola Daniel Adelesi
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