I can perfectly understand why some people are so afraid to fall in love but I am not going to justify whatever reasons they have for being afraid to fall in love again! I know you have been hurt severally and I also know that you do not trust anyone again. When we take a look at things from different perspectives then we will see that we can really get better results from those issues that now hurt us so bad! Life may be unfair but you don’t always have to be the victim of life’s unfairness!
We need to come to that stage where we can really admit that life is unfair but the unfair part of life does not always have to face us! When you take a look at some of the people who have been hurt in relationships you will find out that they are some of the people who have ignored warnings before now! When you claim to love someone and you refuse to see the weaknesses of that person that can possibly harm you then you are a voluntary fool! It means you had a choice and you could have walked out before a very messy situation but you ignored all the chances and you stayed there until things went bad!
My purpose here is really not to make anyone feel bad for the mistakes they may have made but it may be necessary to just mention a few things so that they are not repeated. If you have been hurt before especially by someone you love we need to be sincere about the fact that it is very painful. The pains that come with the hurt are really not the main thing but the damage that is done and mostly remains with a lot of people. In case you are still hurting or you still have not gotten over the memory, I need to warn you about the potential damage that hurts in your heart can do to your future!
When people get hurt either because of their own mistakes or because of the mistakes of some other people, it’s easy for them to focus on the role that other people played in the hurting process. That’s why they keep seeing that other person as the planner and the executor of the hurt. They also keep seeing every other person that comes their way after the hurt as the same person who initially hurt them. In this case, women see men as ‘they are all the same’ and that’s the way some men who have been hurt also think.
You will find people who are hurting transferring aggression to other nice people around them and they may end up cutting out a lot of the people they need in their lives. Some of the people who are hurting and have subordinates working with them may become unnecessary harsh and may even demand more than necessary from those working with them.
We can go on and on about all the things people who are hurting do consciously or unconsciously to other people while even denying the fact that they are doing it because they were hurt by someone else. You need to let go and feel free. Guess what, the person who hurt you does not even know or understand exactly how you feel and you are the one left in this prison of sealed emotions against every other person around you! Get out of that prison! Free yourself and learn to love again! Every woman or man that you meet cannot be the same! All you need to do is to make your emotional tissues stronger than they are right now so that no one can just cut them at will!
You have to live to love and also love to live because life is about love and love is about life! When you stop loving you start losing life so get back up and lose that fear that holds you from loving again! Remember, your life is your love and your love is your life! Live it! Love it!
Fola Daniel Adelesi
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